#57 – “Ten Mississippi” (2008)

Here Come The 123s

L.K.: OH GOD. IT HAD TO COME EVENTUALLY.

A.S.: It did not take us long to get to THE WORST THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS SONG
L.K.: We were setting ourselves up for this with that run of good songs earlier. I kept threatening that this would happen as some sort of nonsensical karmic punishment.
L.K.: The kids song to end all kids songs, the kind that is exactly the sort of kids song everybody was hoping TMBG was better than. The infuriating thing about this is that for as much as TMBG complained about kiddie music that was annoying to adults, they went ahead and made this anyway. If you were given the chance to make something for children, as an adult yourself who either a. has children or b. has been around other people’s children to some extent, you’d think this is exactly the sort of thing you’d try to avoid. The sing-songy, nonsense, tuneless “educational” sort of song.
A.S.: Annoyingly goofy voices, nothing of any interest, just lazy, lazy, lazy. We can at least be thankful that it’s less than a minute long.
L.K.: Yeah. I hate to say it, but this is almost Barney-level songwriting.
A.S.: This is strictly stuff for toddlers.  It has its place in the world, but from a band that is obviously capable of much better, and even on an album, surrounded by songs like “813 Mile Car Trip” or “Apartment Four”, there’s really no excuse for this. You’d think they could do something cooler with the number ten, too.
L.K.: This is currently the lowest-ranked song on TMBW, and I believe it has basically occupied that spot continuously since the song’s release.
A.S.: Yeah, as much as the idea of ranking songs is a bit strange, this really is the worst.
L.K.: It’s just really disappointing coming from a band that had said they wanted to set the bar a lot higher for children’s stuff than is typical for the genre. They claim that writing for kids is basically the same as writing for adults, but is there a chance in hell this song would’ve been on The Else? Join Us? Even a podcast? I really don’t think so.
A.S.: Hopefully this is the last of that from them, though.  I want this to be the harshest we’ll have to be on any song.
L.K.: Well, this is about the laziest they’ve ever been on any song.
A.S.: That said, I guess we should also mention that we aren’t covering the Mickey Mouse Playhouse songs on this blog.
L.K.: There are, what, two of those? Three? I don’t even know. I am not even going to go into how disgustingly popular “Hot Dog” is seemingly everywhere on the internet compared to THE REST OF THE BAND’s 30-YEAR CREATIVE OUTPUT.
A.S.: I think there are three Disney-fied songs or something.
L.K.: My only comments on those songs are that the band is less afraid of big, big whoredom than their earlier songs would seem to indicate.
A.S.: I know it’s basically a revisionist attitude to have, acting like these songs don’t exist, and that’s not a good thing, but we’d rather discuss songs we like and think are important. Plus, I don’t think you need whole days dedicated to us saying, “We really don’t like these songs,” especially since if this post is any indication, you can probably guess our thoughts on those couple of songs.
L.K.: I mean, I personally sort of question the whole “songs we like and think are important” part of your statement, given the tiny little McSweeney’s songs and things we have included that are also basically impossible to discuss, but for different reasons. But those are at least things that people might not have heard about, or might not be aware of. The Disney things seem to have vastly outstripped the rest of the band’s output in popularity just because they’re on a stupid Disney show. You really don’t need us to tell you anything more about those.
A.S.: True, and also we’ve decided to critique the band’s work, not just drool over it all, so I’m not entirely correct on what I had said (I’d make a terrible politician). But yeah, those Mickey Mouse Clubhouse songs just… not worth the days.
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Comments
One Response to “#57 – “Ten Mississippi” (2008)”
  1. Lowell says:

    Oof. I’d never heard of either “Ten Mississippi” or “Hot Dog” before reading this. I basically avoided all TMBG childrens’ output between No! and Here Comes Science!, which in retrospect seems like a frighteningly good idea. That said, having heard the two previously mentioned songs for the first time, I found “Ten Mississippi” to be insufferable, and “Hot Dog” to be merely forgettable.

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